What are cravings anyway?

What do you believe that drink does for you?

How do I get through them? Or better yet….is there a way around them? They make it so hard to stay on track, right? 

It’s like it’s 4:00PM and your internal clock pings….”it’s almost 5! It’s almost time for a drink!” 

When you tell yourself to think about something else–distract yourself, yell at the craving, whatever it takes just don’t give in!!!!!! 

And within 5 minutes your stress and anxiety are through the roof just thinking about not thinking about having a drink. 

Ufffff do I remember. I had so many notes up on my wine cabinet too to remind me why I didn’t want to stock it with wine or drink it but for the first 6+ months I really struggled to string together more than 31 days alcohol free without experiencing a “data point”. 

Before we go any further, let me clarify a couple of things.

First of all, if you are physically addicted to alcohol and you experience hallucinations or delirium tremens or any other significant alcohol withdrawal symptoms, you may need some medical assistance getting through the initial detoxification period safely. And if that’s what you need to do, that’s okay! No shame in asking for what you need to be successful. In fact, it can be a point of growth to do so. Talk to your doctor if you have any concerns regarding the detoxification process. 

After the initial detoxification period, there will likely be lower level cravings still hanging around. The kind that causes people to pour another drink and we are going to get back to that in a moment. 

The next term I need to clarify is “data point”. If you are not familiar with the term, it’s a self compassionate method of asking ourselves, what caused us to drink alcohol again. Most people are more familiar with terms such as “relapsed” and “slipped”. And for those folks, they then go back to counting from day 1 and may get really tripped up on the shame of having had a drink again after a period of abstinence. 

When we instead become curious about our deeper motivators—those “things” inside that “drove us to drink again”, we start to learn more about ourselves and this is the place where healing can begin. 

Back to CRAVINGS. If you’re beating yourself up for having cravings. Please, stop doing that. It’s totally normal to having cravings.

Do you wear a watch? Or glasses? Or something else that you’ve worn for as long as you can remember and if it’s not on you can “feel” that it’s missing? 

Guess what? When a human being has been consuming a product that creates a dopamine release, the brain knows when that’s missing too. 

This is the conjecture of self-compassion and will-power. But what happens to some people is that self-compassion is not something the person has learned. They are much better at self beratement and then will power can take on an almost bully like personality. 

Do you know what I mean? And because self esteem is low, and self compassion might not exist within yet….it can begin to sound in our head more like a bad argument. 

“Take a drink so we can just calm down”. – “ No….don’t drink today. It’s been days with out.” 

“Take a drink to make this anxiety stop.”--   “But you know the drink will actually make it worse.”

“Take a drink to relax.”       - -  “ I want to but part of me knows that it doesn’t actually relax me.” 

THIS IS A STEP BEYOND CRAVINGS INTO COGNITIVE DISSONANCE 

 When I experienced this, this internal tug of war around drinking I thought I was losing my mind! I really felt like I was going crazy.” Who argues with themself like this?” I would think. And every time, will power took on a bully stance and because I felt so low about myself, I just listened to all the awful things it said to me about myself. Things like: “You’ll never be able to quit drinking. You’re just gonna die in this sin. You’re kids are going to be so embarrassed if this is what’s on your death certificate. You’re weak. Stay down. Just die. “ 

So here’s the scoop and may already be catching on by now…..This is a little bit complex. The biology of being human is playing such a big role in why people keep getting stuck in the stuff! 

Cravings are not merely the body desiring a drink. It’s also the brain screaming that it “needs” one like a 2 year old in the candy isle. The brain’s primary jobs are to protect us and keep us safe. When we are doing something new and unfamiliar, like finding new ways to navigate stress and anxiety, it may start to have a fit because it wants what is  familiar because, to the brain, familiar is safe and unknown is dangerous. So, naturally, your brain wants to protect you from the pain of the discomfort of changing a pattern such as drinking to relax by no longer drinking. 

It's also because humans are creatures of habit and we develop habits very quickly when we don’t regularly pause and intentionally take inventory of our lives. 

How am I spending my time these days? Do these activities line up with my values? 

How am I spending my money these days? Do these things line up with my values?

What am I spending time thinking about? Are they positive thoughts? Are there any thoughts running around that I wasn’t aware of? What are those thoughts saying? What meaning is my brain making from those thoughts? What behavior is the result of those thoughts? ………

I truly hope that knowing this science behind cravings will help you to have compassion upon yourself as it did for me. Prior to knowing the nature of alcohol on the human body and brain, I blamed myself for everything related to being stuck in a pattern of over drinking. 

While, you’re capturing any berating thoughts and replacing them with new ones AND also navigating cravings, here’s some things that really helped me. Please note that I am not a doctor. I am not giving you any medical advice I am only sharing with you things that helped me and others that I know either personally or through the alcohol freedom forums I belong to and other places I’ve read people’s research on the subject. 

#1 DRINK LOTS OF WATER. I added Bragg’s Organic Apple Cider Vinegar to aid in detoxification. It tasted no worse than that last ½ glass of red wine that get left sitting out uncorked and I  drank anyway. How much? I just started with a little and gradually added more as I acquired the taste. I figured, I acquired a taste for poison, I can aquire a taste for something that may help counter that poison. 

#2 GREENS POWDER, PROTEIN, COLLAGEN SHAKES

I continued to feel like I had a hangover in the mornings for months and months after starting my alcohol freedom journey. So, I continued with my healthy shakes in the morning. I get mine mostly at the local health food store and some things I find on Amazon. I switch between different plant based “milks” and I add the following powders and supplements. (If the supplement comes in a capsule, I empty that into the shake so I don’t have to swallow it.)

Greens, Collagen, Protein, Moringa, (great energy). Vitamins B,D,E,K2, Calcium, Probiotics. 

I also started seeing a Natural Doctor and had my hormone levels tested as well as dopamine and others…..and also did testing for heavy metals. 

I learned I had very high levels of lead which could have been from the pipes in my older house. (since have been replaced) and more importantly that my estrogen levels were almost non existent. (post menopause), and also my dopamine levels were really really low and my cortisol level were off the charts high first thing in the morning. That meant that when I woke up feeling like I was in a tail spin before even getting out of bed, had a very real medical cause. 

The doses of supplements that I currently take is much lower and continues to decrease as my body and mind both heal together. 

#3 SLEEP AS MUCH AS YOU NEED TO AS YOU CAN

Obviously you can’t bring your favorite pillow and soft blanky to work with you but you can keep it in the car. Detox is very taxing on the body physically. We would think our body would be thrilled with the sudden new healthy treatment but it’s kinda in shock and it needs to make a really quick adjustment and our bodies do most of its healing while we are sleeping. So, if you are feeling exhausted, you’re not alone. There is nothing wrong with you. On the contrary, there is everything right with you and your body is working over-time to keep up with your great decision. No guilt. Take a nap. No guilt. Use a sick day or 3 if you have them. Sleep. 

#4 COMFORT FOOD AND COZY SLIPPERS 

Cambell’s Chicken Noodle Condensed Soup will always be a favorite of mine and a staple in our cabinet for those icky tummy days. Stock up. Or, make some homemade or get a different brand or your own favorite soup, soda crackers and 7-UP. Grab a full box of soft tissues and watch something that brings you comfort and joy and perhaps helps you process through some emotions that you’ve been stuffing and masking for years. For me it was “Little House on the Prairie”. And I binged. I cried. I laughed. I reminisce of my childhood and what seemed like a much less complicated and much more untied and loving time. And I ate soup and drank 7-UP and slept on and off for a couple of days. 

I felt so empty and depleted but after a few days I started to feel better physically and that led to more forward motion. 

#5 EAT HEALTHY AND CLEAN

You’re purging poison from your body. Don’t replace it with toxic ingredients in lots of junk food. That will only delay and mask if not prevent your healing from taking root. If you’ve decided to see a natural doctor they would be a great resource for further discussion of diet changes that can aid in clearing the alcohol from your body and feeding yourself life restoring vitamins, minerals, proteins, etc. 

#6 BE KIND TO YOURSELF 

This is the time to really celebrate yourself and the brave decision you made to move forward in moderating your drinking or quitting all together. There will be days when you doubt your decision and that’s ok. Celebrate it anyway. You’re a big deal and your wins are too!! If your favorite person made a choice to do something better for themself, you would celebrate with them, right? This would be a great time to give yourself permission to love yourself and to cheer yourself on. That reminds me of a note I have near my bed. It says “Give yourself permission to………happy, free, messy, creative…..” 

#7 COMMIT TO THE PROCESS 

That does not mean to commit to never ever having another drink for the rest of your life. On the contrary! The process is joining the experiment, hiring me as a coach for compassionate, non judgemental guidance, encouragement and support or on your own if you choose is fine too. You don’t have to work with me to be on my email list. And if you find something here that’s helpful to you or a friend that’s fantastic too. 

Look, I don’t believe in re-inventing the wheel and that’s why I tell you about Annie Grace and her experiment and app and platform of a community of hundreds of thousands of people around the world who have broken free thanks to Annie’s ability to pull it all together into this new form of psychology called Affective Liminal Psychology. 

Watch and listen to her videos to educate yourself further on the nature of alcohol and how it naturally affects the biology of the human body and how we can reverse that in ourselves and be free from it if we choose to be. Do the internal reflections at the end of each lesson. Don’t rush through it either. Set aside time for healing. Some of this work can get hard. You will need to face some things that alcohol protected you from having to face. At some point in the future of your journey you may even find yourself thinking differently about an event or a person from the past that you may wish to do something about. Those things are all of the beautiful process of healing. But don’t let anyone fool you….it can be hard to do some of this internal relection work. Trust me. I avoided it for 2 years after stopping drinking. What I discovered was a vivid understanding of the term “dry drunk”. I wasn’t drinking but I was still harboring lots of yucky feelings inside and I was hard to get along with and my mood could change drastically and fast. I had started to look at the internal work and chose not to do it. I didn’t want to look at the hard stuff. I just wanted it to all “go away” so I could “be better” and “just get on with my life”.

#8 GOING THROUGH….

Commit to doing it. If you have trauma, drama,  broken relationships, stress, anxiety, depression, fears, doubts, worries etc…….you’re not alone. Everyone does. Remember? The brain equates unfamiliar with unsafe. So you get to talk to yourself and compassionately remind you that, “you’ve got this.” “You’ve done other hard things in your life and so you will do this too.”

When did I finally do the work? Last year November 2024 I joined the This Naked Mind Institute and in March of 2025 earned certification in Affective Liminal Psychology as an Alcoholic Freedom Coach. Within the first hour of the first day of class I knew I hadn’t done the internal work and I knew that if I didn’t that I just wasted a lot of money. So, I committed to the course and to doing the work with myself and finding my own inner healing so that I could then be an effective coach. I’m so glad I did! 

#9 DON’T QUIT 

The only way to not reach your goals here is by quitting. Please don’t do that. There will be days when the biology of being human and the nature of the withdrawal of alcohol combined will make you feel like you just can’t do it. On those days, remind yourself that many have gone before you and have proven that to be nonsense. 

#10 COMMIT TO KNOWING THAT FREEDOM IS ON THE OTHER SIDE 

Of the hard work. And it’s so absolutely, positively without a doubt……

WORTH IT. 

And…..it wasn’t as bad as my former anxious mind had me convinced it would be….in fact, it was pretty great. I found myself and I found out that I like myself. I’m actually pretty great. 

My only regret was not working with a coach sooner. I could have gotten out of my own pity party sooner if I had and thus gotten here a little sooner. But it is what it is and I’m just so glad to be here. On the other side of this. I used to picture myself in “giant slayer mode” or “mountain climber mode”. My brain then started to see that as my reality and to believe it. In the process of getting free I had also lost about 40#, started going to the gym, tore my rotator cuff so took up jogging at the age of 51. Ran a 5K then a 10K. Earned my ALP Certification, am starting a business as an awesome Alcohol Freedom Coach, and i think I’m doing a good job of navigating young adult sons and our relationships have undergone so much healing and trust rebuilding. Its so wonderful. 

Honestly, I”m living in my prayer requests.

You can too!! 

If you want to meet your goals sooner, hire a coach. If it’s me, great. If it’s not. That’s great too. It’s important to click with your coach. You need someone who coaches to your style of motivation. At www.thisnakedmind.com/coaches you can read everyones’ bio and find who’s going to the best for you. 

If you love my emails and want to see if we click you can book your FREE Discovery Call now at www.healingconversationswi.com 

LET’S DO THIS!!