August 17, 2025

The other day this idea went through my mind.

Remember the Ford Pinto of the 1980’s that was known for catching on fire? 

We laughed when we saw them wondering who would ever go buy one when it’s now known for Self destruction? Yet, they remained a pretty common car to see on the road or parked in a friend's driveway. 

They next thing I knew, the following ideas came rushing at me; Why do we humans, the “highest of intelligence” so willingly partake in our own self destructive behaviors? Why do we ever smoke our first cigarette? And a second and third afterward? Even when it made us turn green and throw our guts up. And how about that first drink of alcohol? Mine was Old Style beer and it was so gross! Yet many years later I had proudly, "acquired" the taste for it. (And many other varieties of alcohol containing beverages.” )

First of all, we have to understand that our behaviors are the direct result of our mindset whether conscious or subconscious. 

Our mindset holds our beliefs. Beliefs about ourselves and our world based upon our personal previous life experiences and the conclusions/ meanings our brain made from them in the moment they were happening….with or without our conscious awareness that it was happening. 

Yes, please do take a moment to ponder that. Chew on it. Re-read it as many times as necessary for it to sink in deep because that’s where the healing lies. Yes, it’s underneath a lot of BS (belief systems) and some of those are perhaps outdated and even bs ( the one you’re thinking of). If you’ve ever tried to pull up a dandelion and get the whole root, you will know that the tap root (the main one) runs as deep as the weed itself is tall. If you pull it, even carefully but even a fragment of it is left behind, a new one, just like it, will grow in its place. Isn’t it funny though, that when made into a tea, dandelion root is a very powerful detoxing agent? 

If you’re stuck in a habit or addiction that you know you need to change. You’re in the right place! I have discovered what was for me, “the missing link” the “bridge” from believing there was no hope…once an alcoholic always an alcoholic mindset, to one of complete victory! I honestly have no desire to drink a drop of an alcoholic beverage ever again. Will that change one day? I don’t know. Maybe. And if/when another craving comes, I now have tools to talk back to the craving and attend to whatever it is my body and mind is actually in need of at that time. 

Are you ready to embark upon a journey into who you were born to be? 

Awesome! 

Please go to my website to book your free meet-n-greet. Let’s see if we’re a good fit. If we’re not, I’m happy to direct you to a fellow TNM coach or their directory so you can find the coach who is the best for you. This is a deeply personal journey. Vulnerability, trust and self compassion are required. No one gets to skip to the top. No one. It’s a process. Just like the slow fade into addiction was a gradual process. However, your willingness to get honest with yourself will determine your pace of healing. Some roots are deeper and require more prodding to be released than others. That’s okay. 

I’m not here to judge or shame you or compare our journeys. I’m here to help you discover your authentic, lovable, joyfilled self. Afterall, we can’t give what we don’t have. If we don’t have deep authentic love for ourselves, we can’t give it to others. We can try….We can “put on a good face” or “fake it till we make it” but is that authentic or has that ever led to a “I don’t even know where it came from!” moment of losing your cool “out of the blue”? 

As your coach, I’ll listen for patterns and help you gently discover how they have been both trying to serve you and yet sabotaging you at the same time. 

Are you getting nervously excited?!?! Fantastic!

It’s okay to have lots of different and even seemingly contradicting emotions running all over the place at the same time. We will even explore this and how to separate them out a bit to better understand  each one. 

If you’re feeling like “part of me” wants to do this but “part of me” is scared! “Part of me” can’t imagine life without wine. ( beer, whiskey, gin, fill in the blank. It may even be TV, or sugar or something else–these principals work across the board when applied.) 

This too is totally normal and oh so HUMAN! 

It’s called Cognitive Dissonance. 

You didn’t experience it before because you thought everything was fine. And then one day, out of nowhere, you had the thought that perhaps you should try to moderate or maybe even quit. Even if just for a short time. You know, to prove to yourself you could. And then…it was harder to do than you expected it to be. When you stopped to think about when was the last time you “took a break” from drinking, you realized you haven’t gone without a night cap in decades. ( If we don’t track how much money we spend it’s easy to lose track of it too….right?). 

There are 4 phases of addiction.

In the English language they nicely translate into the 4 A’s. 

Asleep, Aware, Awake, Alive

You were—Asleep to the problem. Until you weren’t….you became aware there’s a problem and oh no, could it actually be the thing that you’ve used as the solution for oh so long? 

That’s a painful place to be. It’s scary. How will we cope with all the pressures of life that we’ve been pouring this liquid to “help” us with for so long? The brain IMMEDIATELY sends out false danger signals throughout the body with cortisol and adrenaline. These days we are quick to label that anxiety and slap a pill on it to quell it. ( I am not saying that all medication is not necessary. I am saying that we are quick to take a pill rather than go spelunking through our consciousness to discover the root of what’s causing that internal alarm system to ring. “The Anxious Free Life” by Dr. John Delony is an excellent book on anxiety and how it’s a symptom –you body’s alarm system trying to let you know something is not in synchronicity and not a disorder to be only masked with a legal pharmaceutical numbing agent.) 

It is in this place that, if you believe alcohol or your habit or addiction of choice (henceforth I’ll primarily refer to alcohol because that’s my area of personal expertise and transformation and where the science I provide lies. The principals as previously stated can absolutely be applied across the  board to mindset shifts.) truly benefits you that the struggle lies. Picture yourself playing tug of war. On one side is the you that wants to see if life really can be better without booze and on the other is the side of you that has grown weary of the trials has become content sitting on the sidelines of your own life. Perhaps you have even noticed yourself becoming critical of people who are doing things you used to enjoy but because you don’t enjoy them anymore, you begin to find fault with it…to justify that it’s “beneath you” now or you’ve “grown out of it” but all the while there’s an urge to get back to being that person once took life by the horns and lived it large!! Before life got so lifey. Before your best friend ditched you or your marriage ended or you got fired or cheated on or you got sick or parent was a jerk or they left or died or……..and then next thing you knew you weren’t able to “pass your own test” of seeing if you can quit drinking for a month, a week…a day. 

I totally get it and as I said earlier. I’ve found the steps to deep transformative healing and I’m busting at the seams to share it with you and everyone who needs freedom from and is ready to step into the process of becoming and sustaining their best selves yet!! 

What are you waiting you???? 

Here’s what people are saying 

“I wish I hadn’t waited so long to start with a coach! My progress accelerated faster than I imagined because of their compassionate non-judgemental way of helping me become curious about my relationship with wine.” 

CM 

“ This is the first time in decades I’ve gone 15 days without a drink! I feel amazing! Carol is helping me change my life.” 

DH 

And the leading experts on addiction are taking notice that 93% of people who engage in and practice daily the methods developed in Affective Liminal Psychology are changing their relationship with alcohol. This in comparison to 95% of people drink again within the first 48 hours of discharge from a treatment facility.  

This isn’t about never enjoying your favorite beverage again.

This is about learning why you want to numb and rediscovering the “part” of you that wants to be fully present instead.